20 Great Uses for the Gun in Your House
- 1. Settle domestic disputes
- 2. Settle disputes with neighbors
- 3. Something constructive to do while drunk/stoned
- 4. Hours of fun for the kids
- 5. Hours of fun for the neighbors' kids
- 6. A big help during temper tantrums
- 7. Chance to be judge, jury, executioner...a big man
- 8. Almost like having a big penis
- 9. Big bonanza for gun thieves
- 10. Surefire way to blow your dough
- 11. Terrify the meter man
- 12. Help deal with feelings of guilt, inadequacy, rage, and other honky stuff
- 13. Fun to fondle...and so BIG
- 14. 'I was totally sure it wasn't loaded, Your Honor.'
- 15. Get yourself killed in a raid, rather than merely arrested
- 16. You can't always be reading great literature, right?
- 17. Rare chance to become a murderer, get reborn as a lab animal, etc.
- 18. If it's good enough for America's Nazi Party, white separatists, anti-Semites,
- fascist skinheads, militiamen, and Klansmen, it's good enough for me.
- 19. Angry white men never screw up
- 20. Such a comfort when depressed.
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