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Date: 2024-06-23 Page is: DBtxt001.php txt00000796

Humor Politic
Borowitz Report on Goldman Sachs

I have been calling for the 1% to respond to OWS ... the Borowitz Report on Goldman Sachs is the only response so far!

COMMENTARY
I have been grummbling that the Occupy Wall Street (OWS) movement is now in its fifth week and there is no comment at all from the infamous 1%. It is encouraging that the Borowitz Report has been able to find a critical letter from Lloyd Blankfein, the Chairman of Goldman Sachs.

Sadly, there is a lot more reality in good humor than in the serious information flow, which in the USA in the mainstream media has been dumbed down to a scary degree. The OWS activists have a lot of work to do, but they make a whole lot more sense than the 1% that occupy the seats of power and control the mainstream media.
Peter Burgess

13 hours ago F

H.P. Loathecraft This was in my inbox from the Borowitz Report:

A Letter from Goldman Sachs - Concerning Occupy Wall Street

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)– The following is a letter released today by Lloyd Blankfein, the chairman of banking giant Goldman Sachs:

Dear Investor:

Up until now, Goldman Sachs has been silent on the subject of the protest movement known as Occupy Wall Street. That does not mean, however, that it has not been very much on our minds. As thousands have gathered in Lower Manhattan , passionately expressing their deep discontent with the status quo, we have taken note of these protests. And we have asked ourselves this question:

How can we make money off them?

The answer is the newly launched Goldman Sachs Global Rage Fund, whose investment objective is to monetize the Occupy Wall Street protests as they spread around the world. At Goldman, we recognize that the capitalist system as we know it is circling the drain – but there’s plenty of money to be made on the way down.

The Rage Fund will seek out opportunities to invest in products that are poised to benefit from the spreading protests, from police batons and barricades to stun guns and forehead bandages. Furthermore, as clashes between police and protesters turn ever more violent, we are making significant bets on companies that manufacture replacements for broken windows and overturned cars, as well as the raw materials necessary for the construction and incineration of effigies.

It would be tempting, at a time like this, to say “Let them eat cake.” But at Goldman, we are actively seeking to corner the market in cake futures. We project that through our aggressive market manipulation, the price of a piece of cake will quadruple by the end of 2011.

Please contact your Goldman representative for a full prospectus. As the world descends into a Darwinian free-for-all, the Goldman Sachs Rage Fund is a great way to tell the protesters, “Occupy this.” We haven’t felt so good about something we’ve sold since our souls.

Sincerely,

Lloyd Blankfein
Chairman, Goldman Sachs



The text being discussed is available at http://www.borowitzreport.com/2011/10/17/a-letter-from-goldman-sachs/
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