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4 Money Habits I’ll Teach My Newborn Daughter
I am so proud of our team at Ellevest, and I want you to get to know them. You’ll be hearing regularly from an Ellevest team member, talking about issues of importance to them — and to you! This week, meet our Chief Product Officer, Alex Stried. — Sallie
As the Chief Product Officer at Ellevest, I’ve interviewed hundreds of women about their relationship with money. Guess what: Their money habits pretty much mirror their parents’ relationships with money — even as successful grown-ups. And most of them developed those habits really early in life (one study says ).
One woman I talked to got her first savings account in high school, when she got her first job. Her dad helped her open it, and they went to the bank every two weeks to deposit part of her paycheck. It was a bonding moment ... and a savings habit she continues today.
Another watched her parents buy frivolous things, only to end up with loads of credit card debt. She vowed to never handle money like they did, and never lost the habit of feeling guilty when she makes a big purchase — even though she can easily afford it.
I’m a new mom to a delightful baby girl named Juliette.
Juliette (Credit: Picture Perfect NY Photography)
When I’m not feeding her at 2:45 am or bouncing her on a yoga ball to get her back to sleep, I’m thinking about the habits I want to help her develop so she can be a happy, thriving adult — and financial feminist — one day. If you’re a parent or ever want to be a parent, these four habits are some of the best gifts you can give your child … and it’s not too late to form these habits yourself, either.
1. The happiest women put themselves at the front of the line.
When I talk to women about money, one thing stands out: Women who seem the happiest have the habit of advocating to themselves for themselves.
That means they pay their future selves first before spending their paycheck. If they have debt, they’ve created a habit of paying it down regularly. They’ve paid themselves for a rainy day (even a torrentially rainy day) by saving up an emergency fund. And they’re investing toward their longer-term goals.
My husband and I just opened up for Juliette. We used to forecast how much money college would cost in 2036 and decided to save enough for a public university. Then we opened up a “” goal at Ellevest to save more, in case she wants to go to a private university. (Note: If you don’t use all the money toward education in a 529, .)
When she gets older, I’ll show her how we set the goal and how we’re contributing toward it each month. I’m hoping she’ll appreciate college just a little more if she understands the habit we created by regularly putting Future Juliette first.
2. Dial back on the daily decisions.
Believe it or not, research shows we all think about money , and we’re constantly making decisions. Should I take a Lyft or the subway to work? Do we eat out tonight or cook at home? I want her to create is to put as many money decisions on autopilot as she can.
Setting up deposits straight from her paycheck can help her and . And she’ll also have a clear picture of what she’s got left over to spend on other stuff, so that “Lyft or subway” question gets easier to answer. (Two more money decision habits I’ll teach her: , and regularly check annual subscription renewals, because .)
3. You CAN break a bad habit.
I had a high school economics teacher who said we should sell our souls to the devil before paying the minimum balance on a credit card. That really stuck with me. It can take over your life and be super stressful.
But it’s never too late to break a habit. I’ve talked to many women who have debt — but also have a plan. They’re paying it off, and they’re happy with where they’re at. The trick is to identify habits that work for you to pay it off.
In my experience with habit formation at Ellevest (and at Weight Watchers before that), I know that when you realize they're just habits, not character defects. I’m going to make sure Juliette is 100% clear on that, too.
4. Talk about money. (And keep talking.)
For Juliette to learn good money habits, it’s critical to keep the conversation going, forever. And I need to model the behavior I want to see in her by talking about money myself.
It’s hard — we’re a society that would . The New York Times recently ran a piece on , which is a great place to start. As Juliette grows up, she’ll hear me discuss money with my husband and friends, see me reading about it, and feel comfortable bringing it up with us.
Thanks to all the women throughout the years for sharing your experiences. It’s helped me not only build the product we have today at Ellevest, but also recognize the habits that are most important to teach my daughter.
PS: Because of recent feedback from women we’ve been talking to, Ellevest is launching paycheck deposits very soon (like, beginning of October soon). The money lands in your investment account and skips your bank account entirely. That’s something some of our biggest competitors don’t currently do. Stay tuned!
AlexStriedOp-Ed
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